2/6/08:

ANNOUNCING: The New Contest of Propitiation !

That's right! My lackadaisical, procrastinating tendencies once again pay off for you, the reader! Here are the rules: Print out a "Smart the Safety Owl Says ..." sign, fill in what Smart says, and post it somewhere in the office. Send me a picture, and the most creative saying and placement (as adjudicated by me) wins! But hurry, you only have until March 17th (St. Patrick's Day!) Multiple entries will be accepted. All entries become the property of me (i.e. so I can post the winner and runners-up on this blog with impunity.) The winner will receive his very own Up to Bat t-shirt!

The key to winning this contest is to capture what a psychotically wet blanket Smart truly is. Here is an example, posted at my office today:

"fax machines are VERY DANGEROUS! Don't lose a finger!"

Another example might be "toilets are dangerous! Be careful not to flush your tie!"
Submit your pix to me at andrewmoore_AThotmail.com (replacing "AT" with "@", natch."
Any questions? Hit the comments below!